News

25 Years of God’s Faithfulness – And Counting!

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Our 2025 End-of-Year Newsletter Is Here!

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Giving Tuesday – Help Others Find Freedom In Christ

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Navigating The Holidays

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Your Partnership Builds Hope

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This Year, Take Your Adult Ally With You!

Are you making plans to reconnect with family over the upcoming holidays? If you are, remember, the hardest place to not fall back into old childhood patterns is with your family. Whether it is shame, pain, rejection, unforgiveness, having to be the responsible one, or just plain not feeling good enough, those old mental patterns you worked so hard to replace can come flooding back. But you don’t have to face it alone! This year, …

…make plans to take your Adult Ally with you. Of course, now that you are an adult, your brain only listens to you.  That means, Your Adult Ally Is You!

Just because you are getting together with family, it doesn’t mean you have to revert back to your old childhood patterns and conform back into the old family system. Instead, when you feel yourself being pulled back into that old pattern, you can choose to respond with TACT.

1) Identify what is Triggering you.

2) Acknowledge and accept any feelings you are having.

3) Comfort yourself by paying attention to what you need to hear from yourself as the ally.

4) Talk Truth to yourself by identifying the messages/lies you are believing regarding the situation and then replacing them with the truth.

Want more details on how to do this? Click here for a free download of our Allying Yourself Handbook

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Does Someone Have to Ask for Forgiveness Before I Forgive Them?

Does Someone Have to Ask for Forgiveness Before I Forgive Them?

Romans 5:8 “While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

Does someone have to ask for forgiveness before I forgive them? No. While it might be easier to forgive when someone asks you to, you don’t have to be trapped in the bondage of unforgiveness waiting for them to pop the question. God forgave man even before Adam sinned. That’s why Jesus was chosen to be the lamb slain before the creation of the world. Many people do not receive God’s forgiveness because their pride tells them they don’t need forgiveness or their low sense of self-worth tells them they aren’t worth forgiving. God’s forgiveness is not the issue. It is man’s willingness to receive forgiveness. It is man’s unwillingness to repent and receive forgiveness that separates him from God. Following that example, we should forgive others irrespective of their actions. It is then up to them whether they receive it.

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Forgiveness Isn’t Going Back to the Way things Were

Forgiveness Isn’t Going Back to the Way things Were

Luke 17:3b-4 “If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, ‘I repent,’ forgive him.”

Just because you forgive someone doesn’t mean that everything goes back to the way things were. Just because you have forgiven someone doesn’t mean that they are trustworthy now or that they wouldn’t do the same thing again if given the opportunity. It’s OK not to put yourself in situations to be hurt by the same person again.

While Jesus calls us to forgive others no matter how many times they hurt us, if we continue to allow someone to hurt us, we must ask ourselves if there is something going on inside us that is keeping us from drawing healthy boundaries. It’s healthy to set up appropriate boundaries for any future relationship. For example, while a woman in an abusive relationship is commanded to forgive, it is still appropriate for her to change her behavior so that the abuser is no longer able to abuse her.

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Forgiveness: No Longer a Slave to the Past

Forgiveness: No Longer a Slave to the Past

Colossians 1:13-14 “For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.”

Have you ever known someone with a victim mentality? No matter what has happened or what might happen, it’s not their fault. They are always the victim of someone or something. Sometimes people’s pain helps them justify how they feel about themselves. If they were to forgive someone, then they could no longer blame that person for their being stuck, and they might have to become responsible to take steps to move forward.

The truth is, unforgiveness keeps you locked in the past. God wants you to forgive others so you can move forward with Him. He wants to lead you into your Promised Land, but He can’t take you there if you keep going back to Egypt. When you hold on to unforgiveness, it is like being tied to a bungee cord that actually keeps you tethered to your Egypt. Try as you might to leave Egypt and move forward, it will continue to pull you back. God understands that the pain of Egypt is something you may be comfortable with, but He wants you to take a bold step of faith to follow Him, even if it feels scary. Follow Him to a land that He will show you.

If you have unforgiveness in your life, the next step of your Exodus journey is probably forgiveness.

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Forgiveness Comes in One Big Package

Forgiveness Comes in One Big Package

2 Corinthians 2:10-11 “If you forgive anyone, I also forgive him. And what I have forgiven  ― if there was anything to forgive  ― I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake, in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes.”

Is there someone you are having difficulty forgiving? If you refuse to forgive someone, you sow seeds into the field of your mind that say, “You have to do something to earn forgiveness.” When those seeds take root, your subconscious mind tells you that you have to earn God’s forgiveness. But God’s forgiveness comes in one big package. It is an act of mercy; there is nothing you can do to earn it. By forgiving others (even though they may not have earned it), we are equipped to fully accept and experience God’s forgiveness for us.

Sometimes people have difficulty forgiving because they have the wrong perception of what forgiveness is. When you forgive someone, it doesn’t mean that your memory banks are wiped clean like when you reboot a computer. You will still remember what happened. However, forgiveness is a part of the healing process that allows the wounds of past memories to heal. Just like in our physical bodies, even when wounds heal, they can leave scars. True healing comes when we are able to see our scars as reminders of God’s faithfulness to bring us through situations rather than as a reminder of our pain. Forgiving others as God has forgiven you helps you focus your mind on what God has done to help you overcome your pain.

Forgiving someone is not saying that what the offender did is now OK. If what they did was wrong, it’s still wrong and forgiving them won’t make it right. You can forgive someone but still believe what they did was wrong. In our relationship with God, sin is sin. God doesn’t lower his expectations or wink at sin so that we are “OK,” He forgives us.

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