The idea of getting together with family for the holidays can bring joy and excitement or, in some cases, lots of anxiety and stress. Whatever you are feeling, here are a few suggestions that might help you navigate some of those feelings that pop up or some of those family members that pop in. While we have sent out these helpful suggestions in the past, we learned in Phase 3 that in order to implement new patterns in our lives, we all need repetition, repetition, repetition. So here are a few tools to help you navigate the upcoming holidays.

1. This Year, Take Your Adult Ally With You!

Are you making plans to reconnect with family over the upcoming holidays? If you are, remember, the hardest place to not fall back into old childhood patterns is with your family. Whether it is shame, pain, rejection, unforgiveness, anger, having to be the responsible one, or just plain not feeling good enough, those old mental patterns you worked so hard to replace can come flooding back. But you don’t have to face it alone! This year, make plans to take your Adult Ally with you. Of course, now that you are an adult, your brain only listens to you. That means, Your Adult Ally Is You! We are once again making our Allying Yourself Handbook available to you for FREE.

Just because you are getting together with family, it doesn’t mean you have to revert back to your old childhood patterns and conform back into the old family system. Instead, when you feel yourself being pulled back into that old pattern, you can choose to respond with TACT.

1) Identify what is Triggering you.

2) Acknowledge and accept any feelings you are having.

3) Comfort yourself by paying attention to what you need to hear from yourself as the ally.

4) Talk Truth to yourself by identifying the messages/lies you are believing regarding the situation and then replacing them with the truth.

Want more details on how to do this? Click here for a free download of our Allying Yourself Handbook.

2. Having trouble forgiving someone? Maybe these articles will help.

Do You Need to Change Your Glasses?
Forgiveness Comes in One Big Package
Forgiveness: No Longer a Slave to the Past
Forgiveness Isn’t Going Back to the Way Things Were
Does Someone Have to Ask for Forgiveness Before I Forgive Them?
3. For healthy suggestions on how you can respond to The Advice Giver, The Critic, The Rager, The Braggart, The Black Sheep, The Alcoholic, The Downer, and The Controller, click here.